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PDF/EPUB William Shakespeare ç Twelfth Night or What You Will Kindle ´ or What PDF ç

Named for the twelfth night after Christmas the end of the Christmas season Twelfth Night plays with love and power The Countess Olivia a woman with her own household attracts Duke or Count Orsino Two other would be suitors are her pretentious steward Malvolio and Sir Andrew AguecheekOnto this scene arrive the twins Viola and Sebastian caught in a shipwreck each thinks the other has drowned Viola disguises herself as a male page and enters Orsino’s service Orsino sends her as his envoy to Olivia—only to have Olivia fall in love with the messenger The play complicates then wonderfully untangles these relationships


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    I wish I could've seen what performances of this play were like in Shakespeare's time Since women couldn't be on stage men had to play the women's roles which means that the guy playing Viola had to also dress up as a man while acting like a woman You have to wonder if the audience ever really knew what was going on I'll bet you anything you like that some form of the following conversation took place in the Globe Theater at one pointGROUNDLING 1 Wait wasn't that guy playing a girl? Why's he a guy again?GROUNDLING 2 No Viola's dressing up as a man GROUNDLING 1 Sohe's a guy playing a girl playing a guy?GROUNDLING 2 Yes I think GROUNDLING 1 want me to get another round of ale?GROUNDLING 2 God yes Oh and alsoTWELFTH NIGHT ABRIDGEDVIOLA Okay where the fuck are we?CAPTAIN We're in Illyria there's a duke who lives here who's totally in love with this chick Olivia but she's all sad because her brother died like a year ago but Orsino won't leave it aloneORSINO sits in his room listening to Love Hurts on repeat and writing OliviaOrsino fanfictionVIOLA Well then I guess the only thing for me to do is disguise myself as a boy and go work for Orsino Ha ha wouldn't it be a funny and awkward twist if I fell in love with Orsino?CAPTAIN Yeahthat'd be real unexpected OLIVIA CESARIO TELL YOUR STUPID MASTER THAT FOR THE HUNDREDTH TIME I DON'T WANT TO GET MARRIED RIGHT NOW BECAUSES I AM KIND OF IN MOURNING FOR THE ONLY FAMILY MEMBER I HAD IT'S NOT A GOOD TIME CESARIOVIOLA Look I know you're sad and everything hey my twin brother just died in a shipwreck too but Orsino like really really loves you 'Cause you're hot and stuff OLIVIA Oh stop you're hot Kiss meCESARIOVIOLA Oh HELL no SHAKESPEARE Hee hee Lesbians ORSINO Why won't Olivia love me? My life is so unfair Are you in love with anyone Cesario? Because it sucksCESARIOVIOLA Yes I love somebody Somebody your complexion and your heightbut she's totally a chick because I am obviously a boy ORSINO Love sucks and women are unfaithful whores CESARIOVIOLA Umwow you're actually sort of a douche Why exactly am I attracted to you? ORSINO I assumed it was the brooding Chicks dig guys who brood TOBY BELCH Hey everybody it's Comic Relief Time Malvolio Olivia has a crush on you and wants you to wear these poncy yellow stockings and smile all the time MALVOLIO Well they do make my legs look fabulous EVERYONE HE'S CRAZY LOCK HIM IN THE CRAZYHOUSE IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE ADEQUATE MENTAL HEALTH CARE WON'T EXIST FOR ANOTHER 400 YEARSSEBASTIAN Thank god I survived that horrible shipwreck Too bad my sister's dead though OLIVIA Cesario I demand that we have sex immediatelySEBASTIAN YES MA'AMORSINO Cesario what the hell are you doing?SEBASTIAN Who?CESARIOVIOLA OMG SEBASTIANSEBASTIAN OMG VIOLAEVERYONE WTF? VIOLA I'm a girl surprise ORSINO I love liars Let's get married MALVOLIO HEY You assholes got me locked in a cell and then sent some clown to mock me I swear by all that is holy I WILL BE REVENGED ON YOU ALL VIOLA Waitis that seriously how the play ends? A guy we had wrongly incarcerated promises to get his revenge which he actually kind of deserves? FASTE How about this? I'll play a song and then maybe the audience will forget that this play actually has the creepiest ending ever?he does and we doTHE END