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An Excellent conceited Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet Epub ì Epub blockdiagramwiring.co

In Romeo and Juliet Shakespeare creates a violent world in which two young people fall in love It is not simply that their families disapprove the Montagues and the Capulets are engaged in a blood feudIn this death filled setting the movement from love at first sight to the lovers’ final union in death seems almost inevitable And yet this play set in an extraordinary world has become the uintessential story of young love In part because of its exuisite language it is easy to respond as if it were about all young lovers


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    Romeo and Juliet abridgedROMEO I’m Romeo and I used to be emo and annoying but now I’m so totally in luuuuurve and it’s AWESOME MERCUTIO Okay three things One there’s only room in this play for one awesome character and it’s me bitch Two you’re still emo and annoying Three didn’t you say that exact same stuff yesterday about Rosaline?ROMEO Who?meanwhile Juliet prances around her room and draws hearts on things and scribbles “Mrs Juliet Montague” in her diary over and over Because she is THIRTEEN How old is Romeo supposed to be? Let’s not talk about that k?CAPULET Good news Juliet I found you a husbandPARIS Hello I’m a complete tool JULIET Daddy I don’t want to marry that apparently decent and unflawed guy I’m in love with Romeo Montague – we met yesterday and it was HOT CAPULET I WILL BE DAMNED IF I SEE MY ONLY DAUGHTER MARRIED TO THE ONLY SON OF THE MAN WHO IS MY MORTAL ENEMY FOR REASONS TOO UNIMPORTANT TO SPECIFY IN THIS PLAYJULIET stamps foot runs off to her room to watch High School Musical again and sulkTYBALT Hey Romeo your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberriesMONTAGUE POSSE Oh snapMERCUTIO YOU TAKE THAT BACK TYBALT MAKE ME ROMEO No You can’t fight him Mercutio because I already married his cousin TYBALT I KEEL YOU Romeo attempts to stop the fight and fails miserablyMERCUTIO FUCK YOU ALL diesROMEO Okay forget what I said about not fighting I KEEL YOUTYBALT diesPRINCE I’ve had enough of your shit Emo McStabbypants You’re banished ROMEO Waaaaaahhhhhh I’m banished and Juliet is going to marry another guy and it’s not fair WHY DOES GOD HATE ME?FRIAR LAURENCE Jesus Christ not this again Okay if you promise to grow a pair I’ll help you and your wife out Here’s the plan she takes a potion that’ll make her go into a coma and then she’ll get put in the family tomb and then you’ll sneak back into town break into the tomb wait until she wakes up and then the two of you escape and live happily ever after It’s perfectAUDIENCE the hell?Shockingly the plan fails Romeo goes back to the tomb pausing to kill Paris just for good measure but he thinks Juliet’s dead and drinks poison and dies and then like two seconds later she wakes up and sees that Romeo isn’t mostly dead like she was he’s dead so she stabs herselfMONTAGUE Wow we are awful parents CAPULET I have an idea – let’s make solid gold statues of our dead children to commemorate their love and serve as a constant reminder of the fact that our only children killed themselves because we were such uncaring parents they actually do thisSHAKESPEARE Beat that Stephenie Meyer THE ENDRead for 9th grade EnglishBONUS courtesy of The Second City Network Every Shakespeare heroine needs a sassy gay friend