Publishers Carb the fuck up road trip

[Reading] ➷ Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide By Peter Allison –

A Hilarious, Highly Original Collection Of Essays Based On The Botswana Truism Only Food RunsIn The Tradition Of Bill Bryson, A New Writer Brings Us The Lively Adventures And Biting Wit Of An African Safari Guide Peter Allison Gives Us The Guide S Eye View Of Living In The Bush, Confronting The World S Fiercest Terrain Of Wild Animals And, Most Challenging Of All, Managing Herds Of Gaping Tourists Passionate For The Animals Of The Kalahari, Allison Works As A Top Safari Guide In The Wildlife Rich Okavango Delta As He Serves The Whims Of His Wealthy Clients, He Often Has To Stop The Impulse To Run As Far Away From Them As He Can, As These Tourists Are Sometimes Dangerous Than A Pride Of Lions No One Could Make Up These Outrageous But True Tales The Young Woman Who Rejected The Recommended Safari Friendly Khaki To Wear A Fashionable Hot Pink Ensemble The Lost Tourist Who Happened To Be Drunk, Half Naked, And A Member Of The British Royal Family Establishing A Real Friendship With The Continent S Most Vicious Animal The Japanese Tourist Who Requested A Repeat Performance Of Allison S Being Charged By A Lion So He Could Videotape It And Spending A Crazy Night In The Wild After Blowing A Tire On A Tour Bus, Revealing That Allison Has As Much Good Natured Scorn For Himself The Author S Humor Is Exceeded Only By His Love And Respect For The Animals, And His Goal Is To Limit Any Negative Exposure To Humans By Planning Trips That Are Minimally Invasive Unfortunately It Doesn T Always Work Out That Way Peter Allison Is Originally From Sydney, Australia His Safaris Have Been Featured In National Geographic, Conde Nast Traveler, And On Television Programs Such As Jack Hanna S Animal Adventures He Travels Frequently To Speaking Appearances, And Splits Most Of His Time Between Botswana, Sydney, And San Francisco

10 thoughts on “Whatever You Do, Don't Run: True Tales of a Botswana Safari Guide

  1. says:

    Final review this is very light reading with plenty of interesting facts, amusing incidents and annoying guests, including randy Royals It would make a very good tv series starring the author who is extremely handsome and very cack handed, if not accident prone He specialises in wrecking safari vehicles There is some depth, especially about lions, but the author despite his deep interest in animals in the wild doesn t convey much This could be that the editor wanted a light, easy reading book full of personality and laughs, and on that level the book succeeds It s a 4.5 star read, loses half a star because there are some frankly tedious passages, but mostly it s very enjoyable and so rounded up to a good read 5 star.__________Things I have learned so far 1 In Africa, only food runs And a cheesy joke Two guides are out in the bush when they see a lioness stalking them One guide kneels down, takes his trainers out of his back pack and begins to lace them up The other guide says to him that he can t be thinking he could outrun a lion Back comes the answer, I don t have to mate, I only have to outrun you 2 3 It is true that elephants are freaked by mice When there are lot of the tiny rodents around they run up elephants trunks and generally upset them into making kind of girly noises These same mice get into people s tents and beds and head for an Unmentionable Place whose smell and warmth appeals to them This being so embarrassing, people who have been on safari do not mention it.4 Lions avoid elephants, rhinos and hippos for obvious reasons, and for not such obvious ones the very much feared honey badger This is a small, super cute 2 badger with loose rubbery skin that makes holding on to him very difficult, an anal gland that can outstink a skunk, teeth that can break open a tortoise s shell, huge digging, ripping claws and a formidable intelligence they make and use tools They don t back down from fights and are happy to pick them with animals as big as buffalo Their fighting technique consists of ripping open their opponent s genitals with their claws and teeth Not really pet material 5 Disgusting game played whilst drunk on tequila with some minor British royals A naked player had to clutch five pieces of bog roll in his nether cheeks whilst running to a preset goal Oh, the bog roll was set on fire firstI m enjoying this light, irreverent and informative book.

  2. says:

    This is a series of essays written from a safari guide who worked in South Africa and Botswana Having recently returned from a safari in Botswana, I bought this book, which had been recommended by my guide during my trip It s a wonderful collection and very funny and I think to really appreciate it you d need to go on a safari first however, I think reading it before venturing over to Africa would give you a better appreciation for your guides and the people who work behind the scenes at the camp I d like to go back and not ask all the dumb questions I did, but I m also happy that I wasn t one of those tourists that made it into the book The color photographs were fantastic and I d loved to see but understand how costly that is from a publishing perspective I will be purchasing his other book about Pumas Also wanted to say that the advice about running is very true that s the first thing we learned when arriving at our first camp

  3. says:

    Peter Allison isn t the world s best writer, but he s got a talent that s perhaps even better for a book of this kind he s a great storyteller These true stories from his 10 year career as an African safari guide dishes up plenty of armchair excitement along with a good dollop of Allison s wry wit and self deprecation over his triumphs and failures of the job.Loses one star for me over an excess of potty humor and swearing, but still an entertaining read, and one that makes me want to cram a pith helmet and khaki pants in a duffle bag and head out

  4. says:

    This book is about Peter Allison and his time in Africa as a safari guide I don t know what I expected when I picked up this book, but I felt slightly disappointed when I finished reading Not to say that I didn t enjoy it, because I did, but something just felt lacking There was quite a bit of humor throughout the book, which I enjoyed, in addition to animal encounters.

  5. says:

    This is the kind of book I would love to illustrate with update pictures and talk about with friends but those features seem to have disappeared from Goodreads For lovers of Africa and nature this collection of stories from Allison s years as a young and dangerously innocent safari guide is great fun, filled with humor and insights.

  6. says:

    Just what I needed for a light summer read Allison is not the strongest writer, but his love for conservation and wildlife shines through I loved his description of encounters with African wildlife and his interaction with crazy foreign tourists made me smile.

  7. says:

    A highly entertaining book, Peter Allison has a great sense of humor and knows how to spin a good tale It was fascinating to get a peek into the funnier side of African safari experiences from the point of view of the guides

  8. says:

    I loved this collection of tales from a young Australian man who worked in Botswana as a safari guide for several years I enjoyed the stories of close shaves with large animals elephants, hippos, lions and buffalo, the stories of problems guiding in the safari park, the stories of camp life and so on There were things I laughed out loud at, and things which made me groan the chapter entitled The Great Mouse Plague was the worst for this , and things which made me gasp, hold my breath and keep reading very quickly to see what happened It was interesting to find out a bit about Botswana, and Sir Seretse Khama the founder of the nation of Botswana, and Mma Ramotswe s hero in The No 1 Ladies Detective Agency series Unlike some memoirs which tend to ramble and lose the plot at times, I felt it was very well written and engaging for the reader The author was self deprecating and able to laugh at himself and the mistakes that he made along the way There are some fantastic photos taken by the author and friends I tossed up between giving this book 4.5 or 5 stars and gave it 5 in the end because, although it s not great literature, it is truly an enthralling read that I loved reading from beginning to end.

  9. says:

    I loved this book I thought it was funny and very educational It was very well written, truly catching each moment.The author, Peter Allison, left Australia at 19 to backpack through Africa What started as a one year vacation turned into 7 years of guiding safaris The book is written in chapters that each relate a different event that happened Many of the events involved large beasts found on the African outback There were some funny stories, as well as some serious stories Each one left me wishing I were there experiencing it all.I m an animal lover and would love to do a safari one day and this just further whetted my appetite Aside from being incredibly interesting, the writing was superb I thought for a while that it was going to go the route of eco friendly but he kept politics out of it.I would definitely recommend this book to anyone that dreams of seeing a lion or elephant in nature.

  10. says:

    The book had me in fits of laughter most of the time An excellent holiday read It s a constant battle between instinct and common sense and Peter Allison makes fun of everyone, of himself the most, which is so refreshing and delightful I really enjoyed it The reader will also learn a few valuable lessons from nature.